Surviving Tough Times as a Family Team

Running a business as a couple or as a family comes with an extra layer of complexity. When Shirley and Tom talk about the 'hardest time' they ever faced, you quickly realize that no amount of preparation saves you from every setback. They recounted a pivotal moment in the 1970s: they had everything paid for (cars, house), took a risk by buying a grocery store, and within a year, lost it all. No job, no income, and no home.

How did they survive? Their answer was simple but powerful: “We just, the four of us all worked together.” Rather than dwell on their loss, they pulled together as a unit, decided not to “sit and say how terrible it was,” and put their heads down to get through it. It wasn’t easy. There were times of deep disappointment and honest communication, sometimes blunt, always transparent. As Tom said, “You gotta be honest to each other, especially a husband and wife… you got no secrets there.”

The core lesson? Stick together through thick and thin, and be honest with each other, especially when emotions run high. In their 62 years together, this was the glue that kept everything from coming apart.

Embracing Challenges and Enjoying the Small Moments

One of my favorite moments in our whole discussion was how Tom and Shirley emphasized the importance of not giving up on life, even when things seemed bleak. Shirley described how Tom took on extra jobs, rebuilding a house as a side hustle, while they all pitched in at an ice cream parlor. They made sure to carve out time for fun as a family, whether that meant snowmobiling on less-than-fancy machines or eating Coney Island hot dogs from next door.

These stories reminded me that part of surviving tough times is celebrating the small wins, finding joy in the ordinary, and maintaining a sense of togetherness beyond work.

The Power of Customer Feedback

Family business isn’t just about serving each other; it’s about serving your customers. Over time, one of the most valuable tools in improving our businesses has been feedback, both positive and negative.

Kim shared some fantastic stories from her role in our Dairy Queen stores. We pay close attention to both celebration alerts (customer compliments) and complaints. The goal is to have more celebrations than complaints, and to use every piece of feedback as a learning opportunity. Sometimes, critical feedback highlights process issues or one-off human errors, both are important to address.

One story stands out: Kim described a customer who noticed a difference in the taste of the ice cream from one machine. Instead of dismissing it, Kim investigated, fixed the issue, and that customer became our unofficial “Dairy Queen tester” for years. What started as a complaint blossomed into a genuine partnership, bringing in even more loyal customers because she shared her positive experiences widely.

Learning to Listen, Adapt, and Grow

When it comes to reviews (Google, data-tell-us-about-us, or handwritten notes), we keep a close eye out for trends rather than one-offs. If several comments mention the same issue, like long wait times or missing items in orders, we ask: Is this a process problem, or a rare error? Adjusting practices based on this feedback helped us fix issues (like replacing all the mattresses at our resort after repeated comments about comfort) and also reinforce what we’re doing right.

The flip side is not to get discouraged by the occasional unfair review. As Tom put it, “Sometimes… the customer’s just damn wrong.” The best approach is reading all reviews, looking for recurring patterns, and using feedback as a tool for improvement, not self-judgment.

Why Embracing Reviews Matters

Not every business owner loves reviews. Shirley even admitted she doesn’t like filling out questionnaires, much less reading negative comments! But the reality is, most feedback, about 97% by Kim’s measure, is grounded in truth. It’s a window into your customers’ experience and an opportunity to deliver real-time improvements that can set you apart.

When things are going well, reviews can be a source of encouragement. I recommend keeping a folder of your best reviews handy for the tough days, a quick scroll through them can give you a much-needed boost.

Running a family business for over 60 years has taught us that honesty, resilience, teamwork, and a willingness to learn from feedback are non-negotiable if you want to last the distance. Embrace the ups and downs, celebrate the small victories, and never be afraid to listen to your customers, even the critics. Their feedback might just help make your business stronger than ever.

If you’ve got your own story to share, reach out, we’d love to compare notes, and who knows, maybe even feature your journey on the podcast!

Make sure to listen to the full episode and check out our other content here!